The Lord replied, "I will personally go with you...and I will give you rest--everything will be fine for you." Exodus 33:14

Monday, October 15, 2012

Cravings

I've mocked the children of Israel, oh, yes, I have!  They get delivered from Egypt, have the Red Sea parted for them no less.  Food falls from the sky.  Water comes from a rock.  And they complain!  They craved the "leeks and garlic of Egypt."  Seriously, people.  You'd rather have a buffet than freedom?

You should never mock others.  Unless you like eating crow...which would probably taste better if cooked with a few leeks and a little garlic.

Things have gotten a little better in the homeschooling department since my last post, but it's still been uphill.

A friend was going to come visit, but she fell asleep and had a lovely, long, well-deserved nap.  Another has been getting amazing, creative things done while her kids are at school.   I spend my days trying to explain fractions and percentages to less-than-thrilled munchkins.

I find myself craving...if not leeks and garlics, quiet.  Craving easier.

Every wild obedience is bound to encounter some long, wearying, faith-demanding stretches.

The pitfalls in those stretches are much like they were 3,500 years ago.  The biggest danger is in falling prey to a lie...

~  That somewhere along the line we've been abandoned.  He promises that He will never fail or abandon us.

~  That He won't provide all we need to sustain us.  He promises to create rivers in the dry wasteland.

~  That we should never have started on this journey in the first place.  He who has called us promises to take us by the hand and guard us.  He promises to provide wisdom along the way.

~  That the Promised Land He's called us to is unattainable, that the giants along the way are unbeatable.    He promises strength and courage for those who place their confidence in Him.  He promises that they and their children will possess their full share of that land. 

When I remember the truth of who He is and what He's promised I'm not afraid any more.  I'm inspired to press on.  I don't want any other path.

There's strength in remembering what He has done--the seas He's parted and the manna He's provided.  He will do all that He's promised.

Craving an awareness of His glorious presence along the way.

Numbers 11:4-6
Deuteronomy 31:8
Isaiah 43:20b
Isaiah 42:6
Proverbs 4:11
Joshua 1; Numbers 14:24

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Unqualified

If you've never been truly frightened that your children might possibly chew you up and spit you out, please stop reading.  Now.  Please?

I've been feeling that way this week.  Every roll of the eyes has felt like it might crush my soul.  Every huff and puff at the most basic instruction has sucked the oxygen out of my air.  Every stomped foot has rattled my foundations.  The effort of speaking calmly and firmly has sucked the marrow right out of my bones.

I thought Bill Cosby was hilarious when he said, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"  I'm not laughing today--I'm afraid they might take me out.

How does a mother quit?  When they were preschoolers it was the thought of keeping them out of foster care that kept me going.  Yesterday I came this close to taking them to the nearest school and dropping them off.

They know better.  Why on earth have they been circling like wolves preying on the weakest in the herd?

Clearly I'm not up for this challenge.  Can't do it.  Ready to admit defeat.

I sit here sorting thoughts while my son is at gymnastics.  Trying not to break into sobs and freak out the other coffee shop patrons.

Thoughts of Jesus' disciples begin filtering through my mind.  Twelve awkward and uneducated men--outspoken, devious, doubting men--charged by the Son of God to go out and change the world.  And they did.  Clearly, He's not big on picking the qualified.  Yet the impossible happens.

How?

The Holy Spirit gave them power they did not have on their own.

He told us that His plans would not be accomplished by might or power, but by His spirit.

I'm all out of might and power.  His Spirit is what I need.

I've told Him many times that I want to be like that tree planted by the water, whose roots go down deep.  That tree that never fails to produce fruit regardless of drought and storm.

How does a tree get roots that go down deep?

Need.

Roots seek water.

I have need of more.  More of His refreshing Spirit to empower me to do the impossible, to love without expecting anything in return, to be faithful in times of difficulty.  

I have tasted and seen that He is good...which gave me an appetite for more.  The only way to contain more is to be stretched.  He's drawn me, called me, irresistibly into a place of wild obedience...stretching me...enlarging my capacity to carry His life and bear much fruit.

My roots are seeking more of Him.  And finding.


But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank 
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8


Acts 2
Zechariah 4:6

Saturday, January 14, 2012

More Precious than Gold

I have a confession to make:  In the difficult post-Christmas-break reentry I thought of my friends who were home enjoying the quiet solitude of back-to-school...with envy.  I coveted their undisturbed quiet.  Honestly, how bad would it be to send these stubborn, ungrateful children back to school?  (Please excuse my frustrated emotions--they're really great kids.)

However, those sorts of questions are never the issue when pursuing wild obedience.  Never.  "Hath God said?" has gotten humanity into a whole pile of trouble.

I called one of those lovely friends and she enthusiastically agreed to use some of her happy solitude to pray for me.  She really is a wonderful friend and whole-heartedly supports me in this adventure. 

Wild obedience cannot take place successfully without the support of loving community.

I'm sure it was because of her prayers that I began to remember the ways He's helped me.  Songs of praise began to lift my spirits.  I was renewed in my vision. By Friday we were back on track.  The kids even said it was the best day ever.

These few sentences sound so light-hearted and simple--I don't want you to be misled into thinking this faith walk must be a piece of cake for "some people".  This forging of faith is something deep and precious that happens in the secret place of your relationship with God.
 
Whatever your adventure in wild obedience, I pray that you'll be encouraged.  Your faith is incredibly precious--your determination to obey not taken lightly--by your Father who delights in you.

So be truly glad.  
There is wonderful joy ahead,
even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.
These  trials will show that your faith is genuine.
It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--
though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.
So when your faith remains strong through many trials,
it will bring you much praise and glory and honor
on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

You love him even though you have never seen him.
Though you do not see him now, you trust him;
and you rejoice with a glorious, in expressible joy.  

1 Peter 1:6-8

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Back to School...Again

I have this idea that good elementary school teachers change up the classroom a bit after the Christmas break.  My good friend and expert elementary teacher Rose had the flu so I was on my own...


Okay, so I don't really think this is inspiring redecoration...for the kids.  I'm hoping that having this gargantuan machine sticking awkwardly out into the room will inspire me to actually use it.  I'm thinking that five minutes here and there while the kids are working will be better than absolutely no exercise at all?

In case you're wondering...  No, I didn't use it today.  One of the kids did!  For more on our first day back you can check out my post on Kryptonite.